In honor of Valentine’s Day, I choose to write about unconditional love. When I started to brainstorm ideas, I immediately thought of a shared love between two individuals. However, after some contemplation, I realized that unconditional love for ourselves is essential to accept any amount of love from someone else. We must feel that we are worthy of unconditional love to accept it from our partner.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” - Lao Tzu
To be honest, self-acceptance doesn’t always come easy for me. I grew up in an 80% white school, where I was not the typical blonde that received a ton of attention. Since this was pre J-Lo and Kim K, I constantly questioned my appeal as a woman with darker features. I can recall entering Jr. High with five horribly expensive Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch shirts that I would wear on each day of the week. I constantly sought approval from outside sources hoping that “being cool and popular” would fill this need to belong. Over many years of life, love and heartbreaks, I continue my battle with self-love. On the surface, I appeared to be confident and fearless, while deep within I questioned my worth to my partner and the world around me. When I completed yoga teacher training with Silvia Mordini, who encouraged radical self-love and acceptance, I finally felt at peace with who I was. She taught us that we are not the preconceived notions that society has placed on us or the preconceived notions that we have placed on ourselves. We are unique and that uniqueness is what we need to share with the world around us.
“You do not understand your features. Your features are not your beautiful nose, your beautiful cheeks, beautiful lips, and so on. These are not your features. Your features are your beautiful behavior, your beautiful character, your beautiful health, your beautiful spirit, your beautiful advice, your beautiful wisdom, your beautiful inspiration.” – Yogi Bhajan
To love myself, I must accept who I am today. To accept who I am at this very moment, I must forgive myself for those moments that I stumble or even flat-out fail. This also requires that I forgive people who place me in a box, judge me, or who can’t accept that they don’t have to be what everyone expects. I continuously practice this forgiveness exercise to let go of shit that builds up. I still fluctuate between confidence and self-doubt all the time, even in the same day. However, the more I let my own light shine the more I attract a tribe that is on my wave length and encourages me to be me. I'm also lucky enought to have a husband that tells me I'm beautiful every day. He's pretty great.
What self-love practice do you have?
Want some ideas?
Self acceptane is strongly linked to the second chakra! This energy center also rules our emotions, pleasure, sexuality, creativity, and playfulness. It’s considered strong and free-flowing when we are passionate, present in their body, sensual, creative, connected to our feelings, emotionally stable and joyous. People with a blocked Svadhisthana can find it hard to associate with other people and the world around, inability to fully experience emotions and or keep them in balance, feel insecure, fail to deal with life’s changes and lack self-confidence. The lesson the sacral chakra teaches us is that every relationship we create – from the casual to the most intimate – has a purpose, no matter how painful, to help us become more consciously aware of our karma and ourselves. Some relationships are necessarily difficult because it makes us discover our own limiting beliefs. The second chakra symbolizes our creative potential, our ability to harbor fulfilling relationships, as well as our sexual energy – all coming together to create an empowered and confident individual.
Here are a few harmonizing techniques:
Meditation of or by water (2nd chakra element)
Visualization of the color orange
Letting go of unhealthy emotions, people and memories is critical. As you are let go of your negative emotional baggage, you make space and energy for better opportunities.
Review your romantic and sexual history and deal with any continuing attachments to your past, particularly to unhealthy or disempowering relationships.
Food and/or drinks that promote a healthy 2nd chakra: healthy oils and fatty acids, fish, seeds, tropical fruits, and nuts, orange foods or drinks.
Explore your creativity: paint, sing, dance, coloring books, or play an instrument.
- Clary sage
- I Accept Myself
- I Enjoy Life
- I Honor My Body
- I Respect my Body
- I Enjoy My Body
- I Respect Myself
- I Honor Myself